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l limit my calls to once a week and sometimes she doesn't return my call.I understand that she has her own life and I can't expect to be a major part of it.Our daughter seems content to have little contact with us... Both of my children live far away and are busy with their own lives.It is one thing to be loved, even better to be liked. I am fighting depression because I feel like such an outsider.If anyone has inside information on the current staus of the Ala-non and ACA relationship, feel free to post a comment.The “Characteristics,” which are occasionally confused with the Laundry List, were written by author Janet Woititz, in 1983.He had special insight into what made adult children of alcoholic’s needs different, and did a remarkable job of articulating ACo A issues. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism d. We confuse love with pity and tend to “love” people who we can `pity” and “rescue”. We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (denial). We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of the disease even though we did not pick up the drink. We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures.Or, maybe he was just a regular guy–but one who was willing to speak up. We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process.

It wasn't until the daughter was nearing 30 that she rediscovered the joy of close ties with her mother. This blog covers concerns you may have about emotional issues, health, sexuality, marriage, love relationships, parenting, retirement planning and more. Kathy Mc Coy Official Website: anguish is palpable in the comments to my post about parents and adult children "Finding The Balance." Even though I wrote the post a year and a half ago, it is still by far -- every day -- the most read post I've ever written.My husband and I suffer a semi-estrangement from one of our daughters...All too often, young spouses come into a marriage with conflicting ideas about what that means.One young couple I counseled years ago was in constant conflict about her family. This was part of the routine she and her daughter had followed for years before the marriage.

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