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Hey Evan, I have recently started chatting with someone on a dating site and he keeps asking me for my phone number. The place where your circles overlap is your relationship. The problem in dating is when you think your circle is the “right” one – even when it doesn’t overlap with anyone else’s circle. Women who ask men if they will commit on Date 1 are not “wrong”, but they are ineffective. You want to “chat with him for a good period of time,” and after “a few weeks of online chatter”, you’ll give him your phone number. However, I’m very uncomfortable giving you my phone number. It’s called the 2/2/2 Rule (two emails on the dating site, two emails off site, two phone calls and then a date).
He says he doesn’t use the internet much on weekdays, but I’m reluctant to give anyone my phone number until I have chatted with them for a period of time. This is where I came up with the idea (espoused in Why He Disappeared) of “effective vs. Then, presuming a few phone calls go well, you want to meet him for a safe coffee date at on a Tuesday, so you can have a quick exit strategy if you don’t click. I spend about a half-hour explaining it in my Finding the One Online audio program, which helps women flirt and connect with quality men online.
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